Today was a half-baked day. Literally and figuratively. My usually reliable 11am vending machine-purchased M&Ms were all broken in half and my shrimp udon lunch was only half cooked; Indeed, the extreme crunchiness of the mushrooms and broccalli would have been grounds for a Jackie Chiles lawsuit.
After lunch I went to a nearby church and got ashes but soon those were half-baked due to my tendency to rub my forehead obsessively when i am stressed.
When I returned home this evening, I strolled past a neighborhood transvestite shopping spot called Rodean only to realize that my half-baked day had spread to retail. In the windows were the normal, big, glittering, shoulder-padded ensembles that had been laying around for years, but off in the corner window space there was a leather bag holding a stuffed pooch. Clearly the idea was to put a more modern spin on the store--nothing says modern like people spoiling their dogs-- but instead of inspiring transvestites to reach Paris Hilton poochie-satchel fame they were pushing the transvestites more to a: you-just-got-kicked out-of-your- house- with- your- growing-dogs-so-you-are-clearly-stuffing-them-in-your-large-satchel look. The stuffed dogs were newfoundlands for God's sake--who would ever put a newfoundland in a purse? Half-baked planning I tell you.
Let' hope things get back to normal tomorrow. I want full, unbroken m&ms and no scrimping on transvestite window dressing.
